I was starting to mess with the weirder side of me. Yes, those screwed up elements that exist inside of us and we very rarely let out – to our detriment. I don’t want to be afraid of that side of me anymore. I want to embrace it and play with it and encourage others to do the same.
So, it has been a while. But I have been busy. Just not here on the website.
I have been trying to open up my expression both for my art and general expression. Basically I want to lighten up and have more fun while also being able to express all manner of things. Here is an attempt at Christmas time.
I just realized I’ve been holding back. Not just a little, but a lot. In all aspects of life. No wonder I feel shit (more than I need to). No wonder I bite my nails so much. No wonder it’s hard to get out of bed quite often and my vitality is low. No wonder my breath gets caught so much with gunk in my windpipe – The almost unnoticeable overeating due to anxiousness, fears, and doubts would do it to you (ALONG WITH OTHER THINGS)… see Louise L. Hay’s book “You can heal your life” for that.
Click here for some info about phlegm in the throat .
Sometimes we make life more difficult than it needs to be.
KISS – Keep It Simple Stupid. I learned this in college. Works for design and life it seems.
OME TIMES we let fear control us. And it seems like what I was doing. I didn’t notice because I was fitting in like normal- that is usually a warning sign for me. I was NOT being myself. I was NOT living here and now in the present. I was not truly LOVING.
Maybe I still am NOT. But I’m making more changes in the right direction.
Susan Jeffers in her book “Feel the fear and do it anyway” wrote that life can be like a plane ride. You are usually headed to a certain known destination and you usually arrive there but in between you are veering off course in little (or large) increments for most of the time. This seems to be one of them for me.
We are all different and express our life energy differently. Even each person can express themselves with huge variations from day to day. But in general I know what works for me and what doesn’t. I work best with vibrancy and life and light and vitality… messy, childlike, innocent, silly, comic, energetic vitality.
What works for you? And not just the made up socially accepted you. I am talking about the real, soul you.
It can be terribly scary to show our true selves. Indoctrination, guilt, fear, shame, judgements, and lack of self acceptance will see to that… but this precious life is worth it if possible, surely!? (this is me talking from a very privileged position of course but you get my drift right?)
There is an old Irish Gaelic saying used as a blessing on departure. It goes “Seachain tú féin”. In english it might translate as “Avoid your self”. In other words… we can be our own worst enemy, so just get out of your own way and let life get on with it.
Ok, so here goes. My first blog post on this site. My eyes are blurry and I am tired but also alive and well.
I have been putting this post off for numerous reasons. Fear. and. Fear. yes. and. Fear. Yes, it’s clear.
But here I am feeling the fear and doing it anyway. Thanks Susan Jeffers.
And I have a real close relationship with fear and perfectionism and procrastination and closing off. All these elements have held me back in certain ways but also I have thankfully learned a lot from my experiences. Perfectionism has killed my soul on many occasions. But I must remember the saying
“Things may not be perfect, but they are good enough. You may not be perfect, but you are good enough, for now!”
I got this mantra from the Book. “The Life You Were Born To Live – A guide to finding your life purpose” by Dan Millman. A wonderful book that I refer to on many occasions to learn about my path in life and gain useful tools to find my way. When I finally allowed the mantra to sink in and truly feel in my bones, then it really changed my whole world from the inside out. I felt less pressure, I was more joyous and, in turn I could give more to the world. It is like magic.